Although we were officially married November 10, 2010, we weren’t able to have our actual wedding ceremony for close family and friends until nearly a year later (October 16, 2011).
Mercedes and I realize that watching a video is no substitute for the real thing, but we hope you’ll enjoy this short wedding trailer of our special day. For those of you who were able to join us, thank you for sharing in our “dream come true” day. We love you and appreciate you all so much!
What a powerful word from Steve Rivera last night at Axis! One thing that really popped out to me was his reference to Jeremiah 1:4-10. Like Moses, and so many others, Jeremiah did not feel prepared to do what God had called him to do – but God saw something different. He saw and knew something that Jeremiah did not.
God has a vision that we often don’t have. But when we gain that insight, and act in obedience, the result is powerful.
Take a look at this video. Christopher Coleman is living out the vision that God has called him to live, despite all odds.
What is God calling you to do? Are you asking God, “Are you serious? Have you looked at me lately?” Remember, it’s not what you’re capable of doing on your own, it’s what you’re capable of doing through Christ – He is the one that makes us somebody.
College was a unique experience, or depending on who you’re asking, maybe not so “unique”.
The transition from high school to college was a big one. I went from being a big fish in a small pond, to being a small fish in a big pond. I was no longer one of the smart kids at school. I had become “average” overnight. I received my first “F” on an exam in the history of my educational career, and received my first “C” and eventually “D” for a class, which was a HUGE blow to my confidence. And all of that was happening while studying harder than I had ever studied IN MY LIFE.
From an athletic standpoint, despite my being labeled as the #1 recruit for Bucknell’s soccer team, I found myself sitting on the bench faster than I could lace up my cleats. The athletes were bigger, faster, and meaner than I had ever seen. Division I was no joke. I didn’t know people could shoot so hard.
And then there was the social scene…
High school was great. I made First Team All-State despite Frederick High School’s notoriety for being brawlers, not soccer players. I was in the top 10% of our class academically, taking AP classes galore. I was in tight with our principal, and had plenty of attention from a popularity standpoint. To illustrate the point, for homecoming my junior year in high school, I found myself in a situation where my best friend and I were interested in the same girl. Unbeknownst to each other’s proposals, we had both asked her to the dance. It was only a matter of time before we found out of each other’s mutual interest in her, and when she was slow to make a decision on who she was going to choose, we decided to drop her, and instead take four of the hottest girls we could find as our dates. We succeeded.
But when I got to Bucknell, that whole landscape had changed.
I was a nobody.
I had to rediscover myself all over again. For some people, this was a blessing. For me, it was a curse. For those who were a nobody in high school, they had the opportunity to become somebody because they had a clean slate. But for me, I had to reprove myself all over again. And my entire freshman year was about reproving myself to others, as well as to myself.
Then I had my big break. One day, my RA (resident assistant) came up to me and personally invited me to a big party his fraternity was hosting. It was one of their biggest parties of the year – Hawaiian Night. And this wasn’t just any fraternity…this was THE fraternity, and they had a reputation for having the best parties with the hottest chicks. Anybody who was somebody got invited to their events. I quickly called up my buddies from the soccer team to see if they had been invited as well. A few of them had.
The night of the party, we all got ready together while listening to music in our dorm rooms. We were excited and nervous at the same time – it was a rush.
You could hear the life of the party as we neared the fraternity house. The line was long, but we waited with anticipation as we heard the pounding woofers blaring from the house. And as we got closer and closer to the doorstep, we could feel our hearts pounding out of our shirts in sync with the beat.
Get out!
You’re not on the F’in list!
We all looked up with bewilderment as we watched a group of guys getting denied at the door. Ryan, Rob, and I looked at each other in terror as we watched several fraternity brothers crowd around as bouncers, practically pushing the kids off of the porch.
Would we be on the list? Of course we would…we were personally invited by Justin who was secretary of the house. But what if we weren’t? The three of us started to panic.
What’s your name?
One by one, the three of us gave our names as we watched intensely as he scanned down his tablet of sacred names, hoping to have our name scratched off the list. He flipped the page…still no sign of our names. He flipped another page…still no names. And when he reached the end of the list, he looked up and said politely,
Sorry guys. You’re not on the list. We don’t know you.
In a last ditch effort to reclaim our night, we protested by explaining how we were invited by Justin. “He’s my RA!”. It didn’t matter though. The list was the list, and they didn’t make exceptions (at least not for freshmen guys).
Having witnessed the scene moments before, we decided to leave quickly and quietly. We didn’t want to make matters worse than they already were. So we kicked rocks as we walked back to our dorms, venting and vowing that we would never be like that one day – JERKS!
But as I read Matthew 7:21-23 and prepared our Lifegroup for this study, I couldn’t help but think about my experience in college.
“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”
– Matthew 7:21-23
I can just see myself now…
“but God…I led a Lifegroup for years, and I volunteered all the time for our church. I attended every church service I could attend…and I even raised my hands when I worshiped. Anyone will tell you, I have a great reputation – they know I love you. They’ve even told me how inspired they were by my passion for you…Remember? I was even on the big screen promoting Axis Young Adults for our church during Easter weekend! How can you say you don’t know me?”
It’s a scary thought…to get to the door of eternal life and find out you’re not on the list. It’s scary to think that I could be that guy who thought he was on the list, but God will say
I never knew you.
Away from me, you evildoers!
That’s the christian way of saying, “Get off of my F’in porch!”
Ouch!
Tuesday night’s message was a good reminder that we shouldn’t get too comfortable in thinking we are good to go.
In a message to the church in Sardis (Revelation 3:1-6), they are reminded and warned of the consequences for faking their faith. They may have started out on fire and passionate…and that’s probably where they developed a “reputation of being alive”; but the reality was that they were actually dead in their faith.
This week, I came across this video by Francis Chan, and it was hilariously yet frighteningly on point with how we view ourselves and our calling in life. Is it possible that this group of people is who God was talking to when He said “you are dead”?
Are these “Christians” faking it? Do you or I ever “fake” our Christianity?
Consider this – there are times when we have to fake it. For example, we may not “feel” like worshiping God one day, so we don’t want to raise our hands in worship. Do it anyway. We may not “feel” like praying for weeks at a time. Do it anyway. We may not want to serve and help others in need. Do it anyway.
Fake it till you make it.
The statement doesn’t just read, “Fake it”…there’s a second half of that statement that is vital…”till you make it”. Being authentic in your faith doesn’t mean that you don’t do things you don’t feel like doing…it often means that you do.
I was having a rough week, so the guys decided to cheer me up with a good old fashioned guys weekend. But this was no typical guys weekend…
We left Saturday morning and headed for my friend’s parent’s place. When we arrived, we were greeted by nearly a dozen Baby Boomers. Apparently they were having a reunion of sorts…a 25 yr or 30 yr reunion (I can’t remember what the time frame was) for a mission’s group that they served in down in Louisiana.
Our original plan was to go skiing that afternoon when we arrived, but we were soon engrossed in the faith based conversation and couldn’t tear ourselves away. It was like a roundtable of wise spiritual counselmen – so we postponed our ski trip for the next morning. So that we wouldn’t miss church that weekend, we went to LCBC’s (Lives Changed By Christ) Saturday evening service and heard a message on ‘the Men that God designed us to be’. How appropriate for a guys weekend…
But let’s take a step back to before our guy’s weekend began. Humble Franco thought it appropriate to share his skills with me and C-dog. Here’s an email he sent to us:
I don’t want to intimidate you guys but I attached a couple pics of me skiing.
Best Regards,
Franco Saladino
So I decided to unveil my secret:
Franco,
Don’t worry. Those photos don’t really intimidate me. It’s just a little weird that you’re going to wear those tights though. Oh, and the other photo is just a picture of someone else anyway. There’s no proof its you. Here are some REAL photos of me thrashing the mountain that will intimidate you though.
Nathan Fitzgerald
It was only appropriate at that juncture for C-dog to show us his skills. He emailed us the following photo. He was a little more humble.
We struggled to get up by 8am and out the door on Sunday morning, but when we finally made it to the slopes, it was the perfect end to the perfect guys weekend.
Journey down the mountain with us through our videos:
Guy’s weekend in Mennonite country included our Olympic debut at Round Top ski resort in Pennsylvania. Here’s a goofy video of me videoing myself as we go down the mountain.
Check out the major air that Franco caught as he hit his very first ramp at the snowboard park. He’s a natural athlete.
After a long day of skiing, Franco decides to take a nap on a soft bed of ice.
I could over spiritualize this video and say something like, “ever notice how things look different under certain lighting conditions or particular vantage points? Consider Satan who loves the darkness and is the ultimate deceiver…” (Ephesians 6:12; John 8:44)
But what’s the fun in that? No need to get all philosophical and biblical on you all. This is just a cool dance performance by Pilobolus on Conan O’Brien’s Late night show. It’s crazy cool!
Last night, we ended up in the very place where we started – Denny’s. It was there where she tried to spit out the words that she wanted to be exclusive, and now it also marks the spot where we both made our peace offering to go our separate ways.
John Mayer’s song, My Stupid Mouth came to mind as we sat there in awkward silence. There was no chess playing of Salt & Pepper shakers, but we were both fixated on the tiny balls of napkin paper that we were molding. She made shredded strips of paper that were in a pile like a lumber stack. Mine was a twisted pretzel configuration that after all was said and done, looked like a conk shell.
In our differences, we are togetherness
Watching how different we were, even in our napkin rolling, had me thinking of our quote. I had envisioned engraving it inside her engagement ring. It was our identifying catch-phrase. It was meant to be a parody on Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey (can there be a parody on a parody?). Now it’s just…
Ironic.
I look around and see the couples that started dating around the time we got together. Everyone would agree…we were the best couple. We were the happiest couple. And yet, we are the couple that didn’t make it.
Ironic.
I told her that I felt like I made out like a bandit. I’m a different person now than when we started. She taught me to love God with all my heart, and to pursue Him in everything that I do. I’ve gone on missions trips because of her influence. I’m leading a group of over twenty young adults each week, doing my best to share in my passion for Christ. I never thought I would see the day where that would happen. My temper and anger management issues have dissipated – not to nothingness, but at least from an 8 to a 3 on a Temperament Richter scale. I’ve become more generous in my time and wallet. And I’ve learned to love people that I often can’t stand. She taught me those things.
I’m a better man now. Funny how I can grow in these areas, and become a new creature, and now I’m not a fit for her anymore.
Ironic.
It’s crazy how the most meaningful relationship in my life, the most fulfilling, the most fun, and the one where the most growth took place, has been the only one to not leave me feeling devastated when it ended.
It should have. When this relationship ended, I should have been downright miserable. My mind should have been filled with thoughts of ways to die. I should have become jaded and bitter and marred from the damage that was caused in abandoning me. And while I’m sad that I lost my best friend, she gave me the most precious gift of all – God’s love. Through her, I have come to see God’s face up close and personal. How awesome is that?
We exchanged tears as we said our apologies and goodbyes. And by the end of our conversation, it was back to being comfortable and familiar. We were discussing Bernie Madoff. She brought him up. She wanted to show off her knowledge of current events. It stopped there. She didn’t know much about his current state of affairs after all. We had to chuckle.
It was a glimmer of hope that we could one day be friends again. But the reality in the short term is that we won’t be “friends” for quite some time. In a perfect world, we would be. And while I’m sure we’ll be friendly, the reality is that our world’s have shifted, and it is going to look a lot different now. I’m sad that such an amazing person won’t be a part of my life – at least not the way I had planned it – but I can honestly say I have no regrets.
It’s interesting how you can meet an amazing person, have an incredible relationship, be left feeling great about them, and in the end, NOT have it work out. Or perhaps that’s just…
Ironic.
Last night at Axis, I was reminded of God’s promise, and it filled me with hope and joy and a hunger for what is to come!
“For I know the plans I have for you . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
When I was in first grade, I experienced my first crush, and had my first girlfriend. That’s a lot of “firsts”. I’ll never forget that crushing blow when I was told that she couldn’t be my girlfriend anymore.
Me: “Why not?”
Kara: Squinting while pulling the sides of her eyes with her pointer fingers, making them extra slanted she said, “because your Chinese”.
I’m not even chinese. But in a state like Ohio, where the population of Japanese americans is about 2 (me and my sister), I might as well have been chinese. What else could we be?
I’ve heard just about every excuse for why “they” can’t date me anymore, and sadly, the reasons haven’t gotten much better. A narcissist would say that it’s clearly their problem. An unconfident loser would say that it’s entirely my fault. And although I think the answer is somewhere in the middle, I have no idea how one can know where I actually fall on that scale.
All I know is that at 31 yrs old, I’m still in the same position as I was at age 6 – confused. But what makes this so different from the rest of the relationships is that I’m confused for a different reason. I actually don’t care about the reason why MPF broke up with me. What’s got me all bent out of shape is that I’ve been hearing this pressing word that’s been popping into my head for nearly two months – and it just doesn’t make any sense.
“WAIT”.
Wait for what? Wait for MPF to come to her senses and beg to come back? (that’s laughable).
Wait for what? Wait for time to heal the wound? (that doesn’t sound like much fun).
Wait for what? Wait for clarity from God? Yes…that must be it. That’s what everyone keeps saying. Wait for God to speak to you. He will tell you what to do. That sounds so cliche – and annoying, but I’ve lived life long enough to know that there’s wisdom in cliche’s…so…
I’ve been praying, and I’ve been listening, and all I’ve heard is “WAIT” in this quiet hush of a whisper. Nothing more.
Seriously? Is that all you have to say God? I imagine Him mocking me saying, “You can’t handle the truth” in a bad Jack Nicholson impersonated voice. And maybe it’s not so far from the truth.
Tonight, I came across Habakkuk 2:3 which reads:
For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.
AMP version
This moment sure does “tarry”. I’ve been forced to tarry ever since I asked MPF’s parents for MPF’s hand in marriage. That was 7 months ago. And then God tells me to WAIT, even after MPF walks out of my life. What kind of sense does that make? If not for the promises in the Bible, and countless examples of God delivering people from terrible situations, I would think it were a cruel joke.
So then what am I waiting on? It’s easy for my heart to grow restless. I’m filled with love and joy and optimism and adventure and courage and boldness…I don’t want to wait any longer. I’m not comfortable to “WAIT”.
But it’s a comforting verse nonetheless. Despite all the waiting and lack of clarity, there’s a promise hidden in there.
It will not deceive or disappoint
Interesting. It’s not a cruel joke. It says it right there. It will not deceive. And apparently it won’t disappoint either. That’s a bold statement.
So I wait, maybe not so patiently (although I’m working hard on that aspect of the waiting game), but I wait nonetheless, and another thing that has begun to press on my heart is that there is only one thing that I need…