The Calm Before the Storm

I woke up on Sunday morning (May 23rd) to the sound of my door buzzer at 8am. It was one of the Sheriffs from the Frederick County Police Department. Ever since I spoke rudely to him about a year ago for banging on my door at 6:30am, I’ve worked hard to be as polite as possible with him. After all, he was just the messenger. I’m sure he’s not a bad guy. He just needed to comply with his requirements to check and see if I still lived at my current address. But the thing I’ve noticed is that he’s been showing up more frequently this past year. Way more than he ever did back in 2006 when I got out of prison. Four years later, and the intensity has only increased.

I said a quick prayer after answering the buzzer, and then fell back asleep. I wasn’t going to let this ruin my day.

When I came back from church that afternoon, I checked my mail. It had been a couple of days since I had checked last. When I opened up the mailbox, there was a single letter propped up diagonally, waiting to be picked. It was plump, and didn’t feel like a bill.

I didn’t recognize the return address, but in red lettering it marked:

URGENT: New law affects YOU!

Immediately my heart started to race. I double checked the return address to see if it was from the police department. It wasn’t.

I wedged my finger between the fold and aggressively opened the letter, intently reading the document as I blindly walked up the three flights of stairs. The first paragraph opened with,

On May 5, Governor O’Malley signed legislation into law that will drastically impact your life. The law takes effect on October 1, 2010. We summarize the worst aspects of the new law below.

I felt light-headed as I pressed on, debating whether or not I could even bare to even keep reading. I’m not sure what I was feeling at the moment. Angry, desolate, hopeless, condemned, depressed, hatred, scared…they all took turns playing imaginary conversations in my head. I couldn’t decide whose voice I sided with more.

It took me three or four times to read through the eight page letter just to make sure I didn’t miss a beat. I kept hoping I would find a clause in there that absolved me in some way. I never found it. What I did find, however, was plenty of reform that did in fact affect me.

1. Registering multiple addresses: As of October 1, I will have to notify each local law enforcement unit where I “habitually live”. My current address is already registered with the police, but now, I am required to report (in writing or in person) any address where I “sleep or visit with any regularity, for longer than 5 hours per visit, more than 5 times within a 30-day period”. So sleepovers at friends and family’s houses will now count as a residence for me, which means that THEIR HOUSE will now be on the registry as well. Oh, and since I spend plenty of time at church these days, I’ll have to report that as an address of residence as well.
2. Travel Restrictions: In addition, I’ll have to provide a travel itinerary, which looks like I will be criminalized for any unanticipated absence from home caused by an emergency. In addition, I will be prohibited from taking a cross-country trip by motor vehicle unless all lodging and travel accommodations are planned in advance, and the details provided to authorities.
3. Perhaps the most notable is the new classification system: Under the new guidelines, my offense, which is currently a Tier I offense (least severe offense), will be reclassified to a Tier II offense. What that means is that instead of being on the sex offender registry for 10 years (I currently have 6 years to go), I’ll now be required to register every 6 months for a total of 25 yrs (until I’m 53 yrs old). So my mug shot, full name, date of birth, address, contact information, etc. will be plastered on the internet until I’m in my 50’s, with nothing more than the description of my charge (that will have taken place over 29 yrs prior).

Apparently, there were 84 bills in all that targeted sex offenders this past January, and although many of them were stopped, most of them were not.

Needless to say, I sat on my couch with tears streaming down my face for the rest of the day. I literally felt nauseous at the thought that I would be on stricter provisions than when I was on probation for a period of three years after being released from prison. I was just starting to feel like this part of my life was behind me. Instead, the “Adversary” (or Satan) had been working behind the scenes to sabotage my hope and joy, quickly pushing me back into my prison cell of condemnation.

I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to disappear. No one understood how hopeless I felt. Not even my closest friends or even my sister. What was the point in reform? What was the point in following Christ and living for Him if there was nothing to gain?

I didn’t really believe that those things were pointless of course, but admittedly those thoughts ran through my head, and I cried out to God while on my hands and knees, begging for Him to save me from my own self-destruction. I was reaching my breaking point.

The next morning, I literally yelled at myself to get out of bed. I’m not one to talk to myself like some crazy person, but I just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t going to lose this battle, not without a fight.

I made my way to the living room couch to have my daily time with God. My eyes were still puffy from the day before and I didn’t feel like reading the bible, but I knew I had to. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite since I’m always telling my Lifegroup to “press on and be disciplined in reading your bible even when you don’t feel like it”. I’m glad I’ve been telling them this for the past year…because it reminded me that I needed to heed my own advice.

I had been reading the book of Daniel for the past week, and that morning, I had come across Chapter 6 – Daniel in the Lion’s Den. And even though I knew the story well enough to recite it to someone who wasn’t familiar, I had no idea what God was about to reveal to me. I would encourage you to read it in full.

There were several things that jumped out to me, and I broke down with tears of joy as I read it. This was a message for ME. God was speaking to me through this passage, and it was no coincidence that I was reading it for perhaps the first time in my life. I had always heard the story told, but never read it for myself. Here’s what I learned:

1. Politics and power corrupt officials and laws: Daniel had found favor with God, and as a result, he started from the bottom of society as a slave, to the second most powerful man over a kingdom. Jealous of his power and position, governmental authorities plotted against him and influenced laws that they knew would affect righteous people like Daniel. (see Daniel 6:1-9) How did this speak to me? Political figures are often corrupted by their desire for power. As a result, they will occasionally create laws that are not in the best interests of the general public, but are rather suited to serve their own agendas. Don’t get me wrong, who wants sexual predators unmonitored on the streets right? However, the reality is that these increasingly harsher laws are doing nothing to solve the problem. The fact is that it’s not quite as rampant a problem as the media would make it out to believe. (see my post: Seat’s Taken for stats on sex offender recidivism)
2. Good people in authority can make unwise decisions: The King trusted his advisers, so when they advised him to put a law into effect, he blindly trusted their authority without paying much attention to the implications of the new law. If he had he taken the time to think it through, he likely would not have followed through on creating such a destructive law because it would have affected his most trusted adviser and friend. (Daniel 6:9, 14)
3. Laws can be easily created, but are often very hard to eradicate: It’s interesting to note that even though the king had the authority to make a law in this society, he did not have the authority to ignore it. (see Daniel 6:8,14-15) Similarly, in our society, it’s relatively easy to create a new law, but very difficult to get rid of existing laws. Instead, these laws will simply become dormant and overlooked, but they are still there for prosecution if someone decides to follow the letter of the law. Chances are, you have broken dozens of laws and weren’t even aware of it.The laws have been established…often by misguided individuals. These laws often do not consider the far reaching implications and ramifications – nor do many people care. And in some cases, there are political pundits that are simply looking to take an aggressive stand on an issue that they know will win popularity. They are not seeking to put these laws in effect for any other reason than their own political careers. Similarly, “the royal administrators, prefects, satraps, advisers and governors have all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree” (verse 7) because they were jealous of Daniel’s power and influence. So they set out to bring him down in order for their own gain.
4. If God saved Daniel from being eaten by lions, he can save me: although my situation may feel hopeless, cumbersome, punitive, and unjust, God can certainly save me from a life robbed of joy and peace. Daniel didn’t stop worshiping God despite the consequences, and he certainly didn’t deserve the punishment given him. But God loves his children and He will protect them from injustice if it will lead to his glorification. (Daniel 6:22-23)
5. The bigger the test, the bigger the testimony: If Daniel, a righteous man that was loved by the king, did not get unjustly accused of a crime, then he would never have been thrown in the lions den. More importantly, this test was a greater opportunity for God to show his power and character. Even though the king didn’t believe in Daniel’s God before this trial, he did become a believer after the trial, and as a result, he made Daniel’s God known to all of his kingdom and other nations (Daniel 6:25-27). God turned a terrible tragedy into an amazing story. It wouldn’t have had the same effect if Daniel was thrown into cage of harmless house kittens. What’s the miracle and power in that?

When we cry out to God and share with Him our pains, He hears us. As a caring father, he cares about the pains we go through and won’t allow us to go through trials without a purpose. I LOVE how He spoke to me through this Word. I don’t know if you can see how God spoke to me through this Word or not, but for me, it was another example of His love, grace, mercy, and His living power. I am continually reminded of the promise of Romans 8:28 that states that “all things work together for the good of those who love Him”, but here’s another promise that He has given me:

Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, Your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever. (Isaiah 61:7, The Message)

So I say BRING IT Satan! The more you bring, the more I will inherit!