Posts Tagged ‘Nathan Fitzgerald’

What happens in Peru, should NOT stay in Peru

Posted: August 2, 2010 in A Proverb, epiphanies
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Everyone’s question when you come back from a missions trip is,

So? How was it?

And every time I get asked that question (every year), I never know quite what to say. Of course its ‘amazing’ and ‘incredible’ and ‘memorable’…but those are the expected responses, and I somehow feel disappointed when the words that come out of my mouth don’t come close to measuring up to the experience. I’ve learned that it’s more about ‘how you say it’ than ‘what you say’ that tells the story of the truly exceptional nature of the missions trip. And to me, the ‘how’ should be more than just an intonation and enthusiasm in one’s voice. The ‘how’ should be evident in the fruit of that person’s life from that point forward. The question “how was it?” should be answered by the evidence of my life after coming back from a missions trip. And the question I have to ask myself is: Am I changed?

Peru Elevar 2010 (this year’s missions trip name) was another unique experience for me, and was an appropriate theme for me as well. I was hoping to be elevated to a new level in my walk and I went in with a high sense of expectancy that God was going to do something great there – I just didn’t know what it would look like.

You see, this was the 3rd year that I’ve gone; so the charm, excitement, newness, and shock factor weren’t a part of my experience this year. Did we do different things? Yes. Did we visit different places? Yes. Did we go with different people. Yes. But the experience was totally different. In fact, it was more challenging than I ever expected. Let me explain.

Kids gathered as we unloaded the bus to go build an addition to a local home.

After a long day of painting, praying, cleaning, building, playing with children, cooking, or fixing leaky roofs or broken beds, we met as a group to debrief and share the ‘moments’ of our day. And every night, I stared at the carpet in front of me as, one by one, our team members shared with reckless abandon the impact that day’s events had on them.

One night, as I listened to the stories, I kept hearing voices in my head saying, “what’s wrong with you? Why are you so unaffected by what you see?” “Your heart is calloused” “You should have never come” “God isn’t speaking to you” “You’re being ineffective here”. And the more I heard those voices, the more I began to believe it. Ironically, although I was thousands of miles from home to serve God, I felt thousands of miles away from Him as well. Me being there did nothing to close the gap. In fact, it felt like He was even further away. I just wanted to be with Him. I wanted to hear His voice.

So after the meeting, I quietly went to my room without telling anyone, and I locked the door behind me. I opened my bible to read one of the theme verses for the week:

A wasteland, parched with thirst (Huaycan - Lima, Peru)

17 “The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

18 I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs.

19 I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together,

20 so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the LORD has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

-Isaiah 41:17-20

And as I read it, I began crying as I called out to God in prayer for the next three hours. I felt just as barren and thirsty as the people of Peru that we were reaching. I wanted that promise to be true for me too. At one point, I went over to the desk in the room and began writing out my prayer in my journal.

I sat in the room during our debriefing feeling empty and sad. I had nothing to say. I had nothing to offer. I had no stories. I had nothing to share. I feel as though my heart has been hardened. Why doesn’t it break my heart to see these women and what they have gone through? What is wrong with me? What has happened to me?

God I haven’t heard your voice lately, and it saddens me not to hear from you. God, I know You are watching over my shoulders right now, reading these words, so please, dry these tears and hear my cry for You. I want to hear Your voice Lord. I miss You.

Lord, I want You to delight in me. I want to make You proud, Father. Padre, I’m here with my family of fellow believers, and I see their joy in serving You, and I know You are delighting in them, but I feel like an orphan child who’s not quite part of the family. Why? Why do I feel this way? God, is it something I’ve done? Is it something I haven’t done? What is keeping me from experiencing You the way that others are experiencing You?

Journal entry – Day 4 – July 12, 2010 – Monday night

By midnight, I felt much better. But the true refreshment came the next morning when I received an email from the Benz. There was no message. Just a verse. It read:

spreading my wings to soar like an eagle

27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”?

Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.

He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.

-Isaiah 40:27-31 (The Message)

It was as if God was responding directly to my letter! It overwhelmed me with joy and refreshment, and became a turning point for me in the trip.

I didn’t need to go to Peru to learn that lesson. It wasn’t something that could only happen in Peru. But I believe that God brought me all that way in order to teach me the value of pressing into Him when I’m feeling thirsty. We get caught up ‘doing’ things for Him, but we often forget that God wants, more than anything else, to spend quality time with us. When you are doing all the right things, making all the right decisions…praying, fasting, and serving Him…what do you do when you don’t hear from God?

Press in further. Call out louder. Then wait and listen.

He’ll respond and refresh you.

Take a journey with me through this photo album in Lima, Peru (Click here for photo slideshow)

-Nathan Fitzgerald

DO YOU HEAR A ROOSTER? Lifegroup Bible Study

Posted: June 30, 2010 in Bible Study, Faith
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Do you truly buy into the things that you say you believe?

None of us would “deny” Christ in this day and age (at least not the same way Peter did) – Jesus is too popular a figure in our culture. But what does our life say? Are we denying Him that way? Are we holding back from joining conversations about faith because we don’t want people to find out we are a christian? After all, if they did find out, that would mean having to live a higher standard than the rest of them, and that just doesn’t sound appealing, does it? Are we denying Christ every time we start ranting and raving in our car, flicking the occasional bird? Or how about when we go out for a night out at bars and clubs? Are we denying Him then? How about our romantic relationships? Do they look any different than someone who is a non-christian? Hmmm…

Are we ashamed of our faith?

You might be thinking, “Hey, that’s not a fair statement. I’m not ashamed, but I just don’t think I have to be that radical to call myself a believer. After all, look at Peter. He denied Christ three times! AND he was one of Jesus’ closest friends.”

But if you take a look at Peter’s response, he repents and breaks down almost immediately.

Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept. – Mark 14:72

What’s the key to being unashamed of our faith in Christ? Paul gives us an answer as he writes in prison after having been persecuted for his faith in 2 Timothy 1:12:

“That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day”

The key is:

1) you must KNOW Christ…not just know of him.
2) you must believe in Him.

Did you catch that? Paul was not ashamed because he KNOWS who he has BELIEVED in.

Do you think Paul would have proclaimed Christ as his Lord and Savior if he wasn’t completely sold out for Him? Did Paul think his faith was worth going to prison for? Uh…apparently.

But that’s Paul, he’s a super christian. He’s nothing like the rest of us.

Is that what you’re thinking? Well let’s take a look at the secular world. If you stop to think about it, people proclaim some crazy things – The Lock Ness Monster, Big Foot, UFO’s and Aliens, Evolution…because they actually believe it. No one is going to proclaim something they don’t believe, unless of course you are a liar.

If you aren’t proclaiming Christ in your life (through your words AND actions), maybe it’s because you are ashamed. And if you are ashamed, maybe you don’t believe in Him to begin with.

-Nathan Fitzgerald

Who am I?

Posted: May 21, 2010 in Uplifting, Videos
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What a powerful word from Steve Rivera last night at Axis! One thing that really popped out to me was his reference to Jeremiah 1:4-10. Like Moses, and so many others, Jeremiah did not feel prepared to do what God had called him to do – but God saw something different. He saw and knew something that Jeremiah did not.

God has a vision that we often don’t have. But when we gain that insight, and act in obedience, the result is powerful.

Take a look at this video. Christopher Coleman is living out the vision that God has called him to live, despite all odds.

Pronounced dead at birth, listen to the inspiring story of Christopher Coleman

What is God calling you to do? Are you asking God, “Are you serious? Have you looked at me lately?” Remember, it’s not what you’re capable of doing on your own, it’s what you’re capable of doing through Christ – He is the one that makes us somebody.

-Nathan Fitzgerald

“Fake it till you make it” – don’t just fake it

Posted: May 12, 2010 in Bible Study, Childhood stories, Life Happens, Videos, What would Jesus do?
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College was a unique experience, or depending on who you’re asking, maybe not so “unique”.

The transition from high school to college was a big one. I went from being a big fish in a small pond, to being a small fish in a big pond. I was no longer one of the smart kids at school. I had become “average” overnight. I received my first “F” on an exam in the history of my educational career, and received my first “C” and eventually “D” for a class, which was a HUGE blow to my confidence. And all of that was happening while studying harder than I had ever studied IN MY LIFE.

From an athletic standpoint, despite my being labeled as the #1 recruit for Bucknell’s soccer team, I found myself sitting on the bench faster than I could lace up my cleats. The athletes were bigger, faster, and meaner than I had ever seen. Division I was no joke. I didn’t know people could shoot so hard.

And then there was the social scene…

High school was great. I made First Team All-State despite Frederick High School’s notoriety for being brawlers, not soccer players. I was in the top 10% of our class academically, taking AP classes galore. I was in tight with our principal, and had plenty of attention from a popularity standpoint. To illustrate the point, for homecoming my junior year in high school, I found myself in a situation where my best friend and I were interested in the same girl.  Unbeknownst to each other’s proposals, we had both asked her to the dance. It was only a matter of time before we found out of each other’s mutual interest in her, and when she was slow to make a decision on who she was going to choose, we decided to drop her, and instead take four of the hottest girls we could find as our dates. We succeeded.

But when I got to Bucknell, that whole landscape had changed.

I was a nobody.

I had to rediscover myself all over again. For some people, this was a blessing. For me, it was a curse. For those who were a nobody in high school, they had the opportunity to become somebody because they had a clean slate. But for me, I had to reprove myself all over again. And my entire freshman year was about reproving myself to others, as well as to myself.

Then I had my big break. One day, my RA (resident assistant) came up to me and personally invited me to a big party his fraternity was hosting. It was one of their biggest parties of the year – Hawaiian Night. And this wasn’t just any fraternity…this was THE fraternity, and they had a reputation for having the best parties with the hottest chicks. Anybody who was somebody got invited to their events. I quickly called up my buddies from the soccer team to see if they had been invited as well. A few of them had.

The night of the party, we all got ready together while listening to music in our dorm rooms. We were excited and nervous at the same time – it was a rush.

You could hear the life of the party as we neared the fraternity house. The line was long, but we waited with anticipation as we heard the pounding woofers blaring from the house. And as we got closer and closer to the doorstep, we could feel our hearts pounding out of our shirts in sync with the beat.

Get out!

You’re not on the F’in list!

We all looked up with bewilderment as we watched a group of guys getting denied at the door. Ryan, Rob, and I looked at each other in terror as we watched several fraternity brothers crowd around as bouncers, practically pushing the kids off of the porch.

Would we be on the list? Of course we would…we were personally invited by Justin who was secretary of the house. But what if we weren’t? The three of us started to panic.

What’s your name?

One by one, the three of us gave our names as we watched intensely as he scanned down his tablet of sacred names, hoping to have our name scratched off the list. He flipped the page…still no sign of our names. He flipped another page…still no names. And when he reached the end of the list, he looked up and said politely,

Sorry guys. You’re not on the list. We don’t know you.

In a last ditch effort to reclaim our night, we protested by explaining how we were invited by Justin. “He’s my RA!”. It didn’t matter though. The list was the list, and they didn’t make exceptions (at least not for freshmen guys).

Having witnessed the scene moments before, we decided to leave quickly and quietly. We didn’t want to make matters worse than they already were. So we kicked rocks as we walked back to our dorms, venting and vowing that we would never be like that one day – JERKS!

But as I read Matthew 7:21-23 and prepared our Lifegroup for this study, I couldn’t help but think about my experience in college.

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!'”

– Matthew 7:21-23

I can just see myself now…

“but God…I led a Lifegroup for years, and I volunteered all the time for our church. I attended every church service I could attend…and I even raised my hands when I worshiped. Anyone will tell you, I have a great reputation – they know I love you. They’ve even told me how inspired they were by my passion for you…Remember? I was even on the big screen promoting Axis Young Adults for our church during Easter weekend! How can you say you don’t know me?”

It’s a scary thought…to get to the door of eternal life and find out you’re not on the list. It’s scary to think that I could be that guy who thought he was on the list, but God will say

I never knew you.

Away from me, you evildoers!

That’s the christian way of saying, “Get off of my F’in porch!”

Ouch!

Tuesday night’s message was a good reminder that we shouldn’t get too comfortable in thinking we are good to go.

In a message to the church in Sardis (Revelation 3:1-6), they are reminded and warned of the consequences for faking their faith. They may have started out on fire and passionate…and that’s probably where they developed a “reputation of being alive”; but the reality was that they were actually dead in their faith.

This week, I came across this video by Francis Chan, and it was hilariously yet frighteningly on point with how we view ourselves and our calling in life. Is it possible that this group of people is who God was talking to when He said “you are dead”?

Are these “Christians” faking it? Do you or I ever “fake” our Christianity?

Consider this – there are times when we have to fake it. For example, we may not “feel” like worshiping God one day, so we don’t want to raise our hands in worship. Do it anyway. We may not “feel” like praying for weeks at a time. Do it anyway. We may not want to serve and help others in need. Do it anyway.

Fake it till you make it.

The statement doesn’t just read, “Fake it”…there’s a second half of that statement that is vital…”till you make it”. Being authentic in your faith doesn’t mean that you don’t do things you don’t feel like doing…it often means that you do.

Watch out for weeds

Posted: May 6, 2010 in Bible Study, Life Happens, Relationships
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Do you ever feel like your life is spinning out of control and God can’t get there quick enough to save the day? Ever wonder why God hasn’t shown up yet, or wonder if He is even planning to show up?

I’m starting to shift my thinking. That is how I used to feel but now I’m really beginning to appreciate how God works. His timing is perfect!

… If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
Habakkuk 2:3

GOD is so on point!

This week’s Lifegroup was a testament to that fact. It was a breakthrough night for the United Nations Frederick.

You see, for a while now, I’ve been feeling that we’ve reached a bit of a plateau, so I started taking a deeper look into our group. When I started doing that, I started sensing that we haven’t been paying much attention to our own “gardens” lately, but I didn’t know how to address that to the group. Do I tackle it head on? Do I run the risk of offending people by showing them what I see? Do I let it go and just hope the problems go away? I didn’t know what to do.

Then, God answered my prayer by speaking through pastor Dale’s message this past weekend. He talked about identifying weeds in our life that will ultimately choke out our plant from being fruitful (Mark 4:7). It was the confirmation I needed to move forward, and it gave me a framework to address this issue AGGRESSIVELY, just like we should be aggressive about pulling weeds from our gardens. I don’t believe it was a coincidence that the “Watch out for weeds” sermon came at the time that it did.

We were in desperate need of gardening.

God used Tuesday night to speak to us individually about the weeds in our lives. Here are the weeds that people identified:

  • Self-righteousness (“I have a hard time seeing other people’s point of view…”)
  • Self-centeredness (“I like to do things MY way…”)
  • Pride (“I’m not going to be the one to apologize…”)
  • Resentment (“I can’t believe they haven’t reached out. And why did they do that? And then…”)
  • Anger (“I’m not even going to listen to you anymore. In fact, I might just leave”)
  • Fear/worry (“It prevents me from doing things”)
  • Complacency (“I find myself saying I’m going to do it, but then it doesn’t get done”)
  • Stubborness (“I just can’t do that unless they meet me halfway”)
  • Busy-ness (“I find myself making excuses (even if they are legitimate) for not doing certain things”)
  • Gossip (“I find satisfaction in knowing that I have information other people don’t have”)
  • Lip service (“I call myself a christian, but then I curse a lot when I’m around my co-workers”)
  • Lust (“It’s a constant battle for me to keep my thoughts pure and to fight from feeding my eyes”)

Then we took that a step further, and we talked about the weeds that are growing in our “Lifegroup garden”. Has our Lifegroup (plant) been choking and has its ability to bear fruit been affected as a results of weeds that have been growing in our garden?

Our group was quick to identify a prevalent weed:

Cliques

It’s ironic, because this is the one “weed” that our group had prided ourselves on not having. What initially drew people to our group was our warmth, our openness, and our welcoming atmosphere. But somehow, over time, we have become a clique. Even within our own group, cliques have formed.

It just goes to show that in the same way that weeds grow fast in a real garden, and it’s a constant process of keeping your garden free of weeds, we must constantly assess our spiritual health by pulling weeds from our life, even if we think we don’t have them. We almost always do – sometimes even the same types of weeds we’ve pulled before.

It was an intense night for us all. We were all convicted on some level. But as we identified and confessed our weeds to each other, burdens were lifted, hearts were softened, and love prevailed. There is no doubt that God’s presence was felt that night.

Praise God for intervening and convicting us ALL and softening our hearts to hear His message.

Think your garden is weed free?

Think twice. Those things grow faster than you think…and they are more destructive than you could imagine. What weeds do you have in your life?