It was the end of the trip, and Julio and I were sitting next to each other on the bus, coming back from the airport. We were on our journey back to our reality. We had just flown back from Iquitos to Lima, and we were making our way back to the hotel, getting ready for our final meal. Julio turned to me after a lull of silent reflection and asked, “Have you thought much about [MPF] this trip?”
I didn’t turn to him right away. I had to take a second to think about it. I wanted to give an honest answer. “Not really” I answered. “Huh…I hadn’t really thought of that, but no, I haven’t really thought of her this trip”. To be honest, that surprised me. How could someone who had been such an integral part of my life for the past two years escape my mind? Last year, this time, I had been thinking about her every day that I was away. I couldn’t wait to come home to share with her all that I had experienced in Peru. But this year, life was different. I was different.
My answer seemed to sadden him. He looked down at the seat in front of us as he spoke. “I don’t know man. I just get sad when I think about you two. I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand why she doesn’t see what I see.”
Julio went on with a somber tone. I could see that he was somewhere else now. He was back in Iquitos with those families and children. I had seen that look before just a day ago. We were taking a break from building a house, or a shack, depending on who was looking. He was sharing with me his interaction with the kids, and the shear joy that they seemed to possess despite the abysmal conditions they were living in. They were running around barefoot, stepping in deep mud – the kind of mud you lose your shoe in if you haven’t tied your laces very tight. They were so eager to help; carrying boards on their heads as they navigated the swamp like fields. Running around with all sorts of energy because we were there to make a difference in their lives – or maybe they were just being kids.
Even with a tarp, the roof was allowing in too much rain
Demolition began. There was to be nothing left of the original structure.
Trash was buried into the mud floor. We did our best to dig it out, then we leveled the floor as best as we could.
We hauled in the wood on our shoulders.
Even neighboring children helped out.
And the building began.
“It breaks my heart man” he said. “I can’t believe how bad it is here. I didn’t think it would be like this. I’m from El Salvador, so I honestly thought I had seen it all. I wasn’t expecting to see anything that I hadn’t seen already. But this…this is worse than I ever imagined. This…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. He looked away from me. The tears were welling up in his eyes. Then he turned around and walked around the wall of a structure that we were building. He didn’t want anybody to see him cry.
“It’s like this…” he said. I could see that Julio was back now. We were back on the bus in Lima. “When we were building the houses in Iquitos, and as I was talking with the kids, I just wanted so bad to do something for them. I just wanted to give them something. Anything. You know I love my Ipod touch. But I had even thought about giving them my Ipod. Seriously. I just wanted to give them something. But then I thought about it. What are they going to do with an Ipod touch? They’re not going to be able to make updates to it. They’re not going to even know all the things this thing can do. This Ipod is so cool man. It can tell time from anywhere in the world. You can play games on it. You can store photos on it. You can watch videos on it. There are so many things that I don’t even know all the things it can do.”
As I listened to Julio, I thought to myself, do they even have electricity to keep it charged? And with all the filth – the rain, the mud, the dirt – would they be able to keep it from getting destroyed? I had destroyed an Ipod once because I got caught in a rain storm.
Julio continued. “The thing is, as I was thinking about giving them my Ipod, I realized that they would never fully appreciate all the wonderful things it had to offer. That’s what I feel about you man. You’ve got it all. You are this great guy who has so much to offer. I don’t know man, I just don’t think that [MPF] really knew what she had. And I can’t help but wonder if she’s going to realize that one day, and regret the decision that she made.”
I was stunned. Now I was the one who was fighting from tearing up. Now I was the one who wanted to hide behind a wall. It wasn’t as if I was hanging my head all week, trying to wrap my head around the breakup. It’s not like he was saying this to lift my spirits and make me feel better about myself. What touched me was his sincerity in what he was saying. He actually believed that I was an Ipod touch!
I don’t know why things worked the way they did. I don’t know why – not for sure anyway – why MPF and I didn’t work out. But Julio’s epiphany just kind of made sense to me. I know there are going to be people that will read this and think that I’m arrogant, conceited, and full of myself for thinking that Julio could be right; that I could actually be an Ipod Touch. I know I’m not that cool, but the reality is that I do feel as though I have value, and that I was unappreciated in that relationship, and maybe he was onto something. But the thing of it is, the children of Peru in that village aren’t less valuable because they can’t fully appreciate an Ipod, it just is what it is. There are gifts in this world that are more appreciated by some than by others. It doesn’t make someone better or worse than the next person. It just is.
Maybe those children would one day come to fully appreciate the value of that Ipod. But more than likely, they would not. But a new soccer ball, or a bag of candy, or a new house…that is a gift they could relate to and fully appreciate. So that’s what we gave them.
God knows what to give us. He knows what we will appreciate, and what we won’t. I believe that He gives us what we need, and that’s always much better than what we think we need.
The inside of their new house. A solid roof to keep out the rain.
The family who's house we built in one day.
Our team that tore down and built a house in a day.
The Calm Before the Storm 
What a reflection, Nathan. You are very good with putting words on paper, or in a document. You are really a thinker. There are people that just do as their mind sparks and there are those that think deeply and then do. There are those that forget what has happened almost as soon as they are finished and there are those that reflect on what has happened and then move on with new plans, learning from the past. Great Reflection!
nice. relationships can be tricky and it’s good to have that affirmation – particularly when it does not end on terms you would otherwise not have chosen. I feel you bro! 🙂
I agree with Curt…definitely good to get that confirmation…and for anyone reading this that has never heard anything like that about themselves, we’re ALL the Ipod touch Julio mentioned…you just gotta find out who’s got the eyes to see it and appreciate it. We’re all different and there’s a purpose for that. (Not that the Ipod Touch is flawless or anything) 🙂
Nate,
I think both of you are Ipod Touches. Both of you are wonderful people with a tremendous amount of value. I’m a little late on the response, but I’m working my way backwards from when I was first on the blog. You’re definitely a kingdom laborer.
Stay strong,
Tariq
“do they even have electricity to keep it charged? And with all the filth – the rain, the mud, the dirt – would they be able to keep it from getting destroyed?”
I read this two days ago and in after thought I wondered… what would someone with extraordinary needs [compared to the general population of the world] do with something so easily destructed?
Great question. Part of my point (probably not very well explained) was: ‘what is a treasure for one person, may not be a treasure for another’. It’s also been more commonly expressed as ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ or ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’. It all comes down to context, circumstances, priorities, etc.
So an ipod touch, although valuable in a 1st world country, is next to worthless in a 3rd world country when you’re trying to figure out how you are going to eat (unless of course you are in a position where you can sell that I-Pod Touch for money to pay for food).
Similarly, we, as individuals, are of value (God’s love proves it), but we may not be appreciated by some people. It may be the wrong timing, it may be that what we offer for that person is not of value to them at all, but that doesn’t make them less valuable than us, or vice versa. It’s just a simple matter of needs not matching up. Irrelevancy (if that makes sense).
So, what would someone with extraordinary needs do with something so easily destructed? My guess is nothing. It will collect dust and be unappreciated.